Not just for our children...

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

The incarnation

There is much to be said about incarnational ministry. As we make our way through the advent season, we are anticipating the very incarnation of God. It was his idea! "And the Word became flesh and dwelt among us, and we have seen his glory, glory as of the only Son from the Father, full of grace and truth." (John 1:14) He did this so that he could rescue us from ourselves, with his very self. Is what we do every day as parents, not a shadow of this? I know for a fact that our children want us to come down and "dwell" with them. For Andrew, there is no better way for me to gain his attentive ear than for me to get down and be in his world. There is just something about getting down on my knees and humbling myself, playing with cars and trains down on the hard, dirty floor. Even if I just spend 10 minutes "down there," his demeanor often changes for the rest of the day. And I'll be honest, there are many times a day that there are many other things up in my world that I would rather be engaged in. There's laundry, lunch, dinner, email, phone conversations with friends and family, just sitting and taking a rest, the list goes on....Then I stop and take a good think...asking myself what eternal consequence there is in having all my laundry done and dinner on the table at 6:30...perhaps some would disagree, but I would have to say that in comparison to the invaluable life of a child there is none.
But why is it so HARD?? Why do I always hear myself saying, "not right now, Andrew," or "let me just finish this and I'll be right there Andrew,"...and many of the times I never quite make it. I believe it is because we are just like them when they are throwing a tantrum because they want something "NOW!" We want what we want and we want it right then...whether it be getting the carrot cut for the dinner soup, or unloading dishes, or finishing an email, or reading an article, or cleaning the table, or even finishing making the cookies that they asked you for earlier in the day! (and these are often good things in and of themselves). But just like them, I want my agenda served and I seek my own comfort. Frankly, getting down and playing cars is not my idea of comfort and it certainly delays the accomplishment of my tasks.
I am overcome when I ponder the depths of my sinfulness and the (more) depths of God's grace. What grace! He certainly did not leave us unto ourselves "down here" to play with our toys and deal with our sin all by ourselves. No! He wrapped Himself up in human flesh and came down, not just for ten minutes to give us a little face time. He came to dwell with us, to bear our burdens, to help us to see our sins, to help us understand true love and to die for us so that we may be with Him forever. He did not then go back to his pile of laundry and proceed to fold it. No! He gave us his Holy Spirit to dwell within us and to be with us forever. He wanted to make known the extent of his love to the people that He created so badly that he came! We are spiritual, emotional, and physical people...and all three of these aspects of who we are were identified with by God in his incarnation. So too, must we be with our children. They need more from us than food, clothes, hugs, kisses, encouragement, and correction. Oh they do need these things, but they also need us to "be" with them...often. To come and dwell with them, and their cars, and their dolls. This is how they really know that we love them, when in humility, we count others more significant than ourselves. Not looking only to our own interests, but also to the interests of others. Having this mind among us, which is ours in Christ Jesus, who though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God something to be grasped, but made himself nothing, taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men. And being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross. (Philippians 2:3b-8) Many of us understand God as our Heavenly Father (and the Bible speaks of him as such), and if the incarnation and the cross was the pinnacle of his parenting, should we as earthly parents not take this wisdom and run with it to our children?

Sunday, December 13, 2009

From another mother...

This poem is so well written and I resonate with is so much as a mother and a sinner, saved by grace...



Lord, who am I to teach the way
To little children day by day,
So prone myself to go astray?

I teach them knowledge, but I know
How faint they flicker and how low
The candles of my knowledge glow.

I teach them power to will and do,
But only now to learn anew
My own great weakness through and through.

I teach them love for all mankind
And all God’s creatures, but I find
My love comes lagging far behind.

Lord, if their guide I still must be,
Oh, let the little children see
The teacher leaning hard on Thee.

By: Leslie Pinchney Hill.

Friday, December 11, 2009

The surprise of honey!

"The Lord knows what we need before we ask of Him..."(Matthew 6:8) This is what we experience daily, but toady, in particular, was a testimony of this truth. After about 3 weeks of painful disobedience with hardly a glimpse of relief, where Blake and I are at a loss for ideas and words about where we go next with this...I have been refreshed by my son...actually the Lord's work within his heart. I have not had a day like today in it seems, forever! Blake and I pray consistently that the Lord would soften Andrew's little heart, that he may know the gospel and we also pray that the Lord would show us his mercy by giving us some evidence that his heart is being changed. We pray the first half because we know that only God can open hearts to receive his love. We pray the second half...for us really, that we would not grow discouraged and feel defeated by what is a seemingly impossible task. As Blake and I were talking about what our days were going to look like today, I was at a loss for words. I had no idea...my day was formless...and I had a twinge of dread thinking, "how am I going to fill all of these hours with constructive things?" I knew I did not want to be inside all day, as I feel like this perpetuates a naval gazing experience for all of us. But before the conversation was over, I worked out a plan in my head that seemed reasonable...and marched on. (all this to say, I was apprehensive about what I was going to do with so much time with just me and the kiddos!) I had assembled a string of annoying errands to run that could have been a disaster, seeing how it's a windy 30 degrees, and getting two children in and out of the car multiple times can be a drag for everyone. But to my delight, "The Lord knows what we need before we ask of Him," and He knew that His work would be manifested in Andrew toady and He knew the condition of my heart. The whole day, up until now (he's sleeping!), Andrew has been a different little boy than I have known the last 3 weeks (and this is no small thing from my perspective). He had every reason to be annoyed and discontented with the agenda I had mapped out for today but at every turn, the Lord brought me more and more refreshment. From the tenderness he had towards his little sister, Annie, to the immediate obedience that he demonstrated at every opportunity, to his pleasantness towards all of the strangers that crossed our path and the kind words that he gave to me. Truly, truly, "Gracious words are like a honeycomb, sweetness to the soul and health to the body." (Proverbs 16:24) This truth kept being brought to my mind and resonating in my heart. I am breath taken, humbled and abundantly grateful for how sweet and healing to my soul Andrew's words and actions were today. I sing praise to the Lord for using a little boy to reveal to me His glory today. I am not naive, I certainly know there are harder days right around the corner, but just as God commanded Joshua to erect twelve stones of remembrance in their camp to help their families recount the Lord's faithfulness to one another in bringing them to the Promised Land, I erect this day to the Lord to help me remember and to encourage anyone who may need to hear that the Lord's kingdom is an everlasting kingdom and his dominion endures throughout all generations. The Lord is faithful in all his words and kind in all his works. (Psalm 145:13)

Wednesday, December 9, 2009

A promise, one of many

"Count it a joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing. If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him. But let him ask in faith..." James 1:2-6a

I survive day to day on the infallible promises of God. They are my breath and lifeline. Without them none of us would have hope. "If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God..." Over here, over here, I need it. I need the wisdom that comes from our Maker. I'll be honest. I (thought I) had things under control until Andrew turned 2 and three quarters. (Or maybe it was when Annie started crawling...) but nonetheless, day to day operations have gotten HARD! It's the screaming and crying, the fits and tantrums, the jealousy, manipulation and disobedience...one can only take so much. There is much to say about perspective here, however. I feel like a victim every day, feeling like there is not much more I have to give and experiencing an overflow of frustration toward this particular little person. It is easy to wallow in it, and let's be honest, it feels good to complain to someone about it on occasion! The perspective comes in when the Holy Spirit does his cleansing work in my heart and I realize that I am my child! I am the sinful one who is complaining, manipulative, and disobedient. And God the Father is the steadfast perfect parent who tells us that He disciplines those that He loves. I am not a victim here, and I need not think that way. I am a child of God. I pray that He would give me the wisdom and courage to respond to him in the same way that I pray my children will respond to me.One of the greatest privileges in my life will be to see my children know and love Jesus Christ. I pray for their salvation daily. With this being the case, how can I not ask my Lord for wisdom, believing that He delights in giving it abundantly.

Opening thoughts

All the mixed information. Scads and scads of it. People telling you how this should be done and how they did that.What things were like then and what our world has come to now. The degradation of our society and today's youth.It's all so heavy...so fatalistic. And when you experience the depravity of a toddler (and ultimately, yourself), you may be tempted to believe the lies! Where do we go from here? How do we sift through this stuff? I drop to my knees and go to God. He has given us his Holy Word, his Holy Spirit, his church and ultimately his only son, Jesus, our Redeemer. This is an individual and a corporate struggle and as Christian parents we are in it together. I do not know about you, but for me there is immense comfort in that God has given us not only to Christ but to one another as well. I am thankful for you, my brethren, and I need you.